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May is National Masturbation Month, a celebration which originated in 1995 after the firing of Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders, in retaliation for her sex positive, pro masturbation comments at a World AIDS Day event in New York City.
The owners of Good Vibrations in San Francisco reacted to the firing by declaring May National Masturbation month and proceeding to sponsor the Masturbate-a-Thon, a fundraising event where people ask for pledges (dollar amount per minute) and on a specific day try to masturbate as long as they possibly can. In the intervening years, tens of thousands of dollars have been raised by participating stores (mostly Good Vibrations, , Babeland, and Come As You Are for sexual health organizations across North America.
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Why Phone Sex Is Just as Good as the Real Thing
Thursday , April 01, 2010
By Jenny Block
Ring my bell.
Dial me, baby.
Even when you’re close to home, phone sex can fire things up.
Phone sex has gotten a bad rap. It has sadly been relegated to 900 numbers and the desperately lonely and separated. But it’s time that phone sex was brought back to its rightful glory. It’s a great way to connect with a partner even if you both are in town and live in the very same home.
It might sound crazy, but it makes sense if you think about it. Most of us spend the majority of our days away from our partners. And then when we are back together, it’s after a long, stressful day at work with dinner waiting to be cooked, kids waiting to be bathed and dogs waiting to be walked.
It’s hard to bring the sexy back when that’s what you come back home to every day. That’s where phone sex comes in.
You see, part of the problem with not being able to connect with your partner after a long day is that you have not only been physically separated, but also mentally separated. If you do talk on the phone, it’s likely about who’s going to pick up the dry cleaning or where you should make dinner reservations for the weekend.
But when you’re apart, it’s actually the ideal time to connect. Stay with me now. It can be hard to jump right into “Come on, baby, light my fire” the minute you walk in the door. Even with a partner you adore, it can feel a little scary or silly. But on the phone, freedom reigns. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be talking on the phone; it could be texting, IMing or e-mailing.
But, be aware, e-mail never dies and texts and voice messages have a way of popping back into your life at the least opportune times – ask Tiger Woods or Jesse James. Even if it’s your partner you’re whispering not-so-sweet nothings to, you still don’t want them broadcast to the whole universe – or even just your own family and friends, for that matter.
So … my weapon of choice is the telephone, talking directly to my partner, where the only risk is someone overhearing and there is usually somewhere to be found that’s out of earshot of any nosy neighbors. Now here’s where the fun starts. Phone sex can be anything from, “I can’t wait to get my hands on you tonight” to “Right now, I’m using my tongue to find my way from your knees to your nose.”
You can play out entire scenarios or you can just tease your partner about what’s awaiting him or her at home that night. Entire scenarios can be especially fun when you’re home with total freedom to do and say as you please and your partner is squirming in his or her seat at work just hoping no one can hear the naughty nurse on the line.
“I’ve been a very bad nurse today, baby.”
“Oh really?”
“Uh, huh. I haven’t been paying any attention to my patients today.”
“You haven’t?”
“Nope. I’ve only been paying attention to myself.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, right now I’m naked in front of the mirror examining my…”
You get the idea. So, while you talk away and maybe even get down to a little “self-service” while you’re at it, all your partner can do is listen and long for you.
If that’s a little much for you, you can simply say, “I miss your mouth” or “Where do you want me to touch you first?” — just to get your partner in the mindset you want him or her in when you’re both together again.
Why bother? Well, that’s easy.
1. Phone sex relieves stress. It can take your mind off things that are doing nothing but driving you crazy and instead put you in a happier – and naughtier – state of mind.
2. Phone sex takes care of the heavy lifting. Sometimes the hardest part about getting down to it is getting started. Dirty little chats throughout the day can give you a great head start.
3. Phone sex brings you closer. Secrets can be bad. But in this case, they are good. Very good. Having a little something that’s just between you and your partner can make you feel like it’s the two of you against the world. Very sexy.
So, whether you opt for the long version…
A flight attendant and a First Class passenger: “Would you like to watch tonight’s film…or me getting out of this silly uniform?”
A waiter and a diner: “Shall I tell you the specials on the menu…or my specialties in the bedroom?”
A lost hiker and a park ranger: “Would you like me to guide you out of the forest…or back to my cabin?”
Or the short version…
“I’m ready.”
. . . It doesn’t matter how cheesy it might sound in your head or out of context, in the moment, phone-based foreplay can start your engines and keep you revving until the race begins.
All you have to do is pick up the phone.
Jenny Block is a freelance writer based in Dallas, Texas. She is the author of “Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage.” Her work appears in “One Big Happy Family” edited by Rebecca Walker and “It’s a Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters” edited by Andrea Buchanan. Visit her Web site at www.jennyonthepage.com.
You wouldn’t believe
On All Hallow Eve
What lots of fun we can make,
With apples to bob,
And nuts on the hob,
And a ring-and-thimble cake.
~ Carolyn Wells
Oh my. Am I wrong to find this slightly kinky? Apples to bob and nuts on the hob, indeed.
Props to Good Shit
Here’s an interesting story I found on the Vonage VOIP phone service forum, detailing how much Canadians love phone sex.
Canadians No Strangers To Phone Sex
Date: Tuesday, February 08 @ 17:39:53 EST
Topic: Vonage Press Releases
One-third have done it. One-quarter want to do it with Brad and Angelina. And most Canadians prefer it over love letters to keep long-distance relationships hot: finds survey by Internet phone company Vonage Canada.
Toronto, ON – February 8, 2005 – When it comes to getting down and dirty on the phone this Valentine’s Day, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt top the polls with Canadians. A recent survey from Internet phone company Vonage Canada, carried out by Decima Research, shows that more than one quarter (29 percent) of Canadian women would most like to have an intimate phone conversation with Hollywood hottie Brad Pitt this February 14, with 25 percent of men rating Angelina Jolie – Mr and Mrs Smith, Lara Croft Tomb Raider – as their preferred partner for a ‘hot ‘n heavy’ Valentine’s phone call.
The Vonage Canada survey also found that when it comes to phone sex Canadians have had their fair share. More than one-third of Canadians (36 percent) admitted to having intimate phone conversations with a close friend or partner – a figure that rose to 48 percent among 18-34 year olds.
Despite the proliferation of email and instant messaging, the phone remains by far the preferred method of communicating with a loved one when separated by distance. 79 percent of respondents prefer to communicate by phone, compared with just nine percent who prefer email, five percent who prefer instant messaging and only four percent who prefer to send a good old-fashioned love letter.
“We’re not surprised to see that the phone is still the favourite method for loved ones to communicate,†said Joe Parent, Vice-President of Marketing and Business Development for Vonage Canada, the company behind the survey. “Internet phone companies like Vonage Canada are giving cupid a helping hand by making geography virtually irrelevant for long-distance lovers. Couples can talk whenever they want, wherever they want, for as long as they want, without ever having to pay long-distance charges.â€
Vonage Canada offers long-distance lovers a host of innovative options only available through digital phone service. For example, customers can choose the area code for their Vonage phone number based on their calling patterns, and not their place of residence. If you live in Halifax, but most of your inbound and outbound calls are to and from your significant other in Winnipeg, you can choose a phone number with a Winnipeg area code.
As well, customers can sign up for a ‘virtual number’ in order to maintain a local presence outside their primary calling area. A virtual number is a secondary Vonage Canada line with your choice of area code that only accepts incoming calls and rings to your primary Vonage Canada line. For example, if you live in Montreal but have a boyfriend or girlfriend in Calgary, you can get a virtual number with a 403 Calgary area code. When your partner in Calgary calls you using your Calgary virtual number, the call automatically rings on your Montreal number, but your partner’s call is treated as a local call, so they pay no long-distance charges.
“What many people don’t realize is that they can cut their local and long distance phone bills to a fraction by signing up for Internet phone service and cutting the cord forever with their traditional phone company. Vonage Canada offers unlimited, unrestricted calling throughout North America for only $39.99 per month, plus low rates on international calls and the full range of phone features all included,†says Parent.
Cost savings is indeed good news for long-distance lovers. The Vonage survey revealed that nearly two thirds of respondents (63 percent) believe that high long-distance phone bills can put a strain on their relationship.
So who were runners up to Angelina and Brad? Friends star Jennifer Aniston took second place in the survey, scoring just 12 percent of the male vote (13 percentage points behind Jolie), with Jennifer Garner – Elektra, Catch Me If You Can – and singer/actress Beyonce bringing up the rear at six per cent and five per cent respectively. Among women, retired James Bond Sean Connery was the second most popular choice of partner for an intimate Valentine’s day chat (14 percent), with Prime Minister Paul Martin and Mike Myers – famous for playing the shagadelic Austin Powers character – tying for last place, each with a meager three percent of the vote.
About the Survey
The survey was carried out on behalf of Vonage Canada by Decima Research (January 27 – January 30, 2005) as part of a Decima Televox National Telephone Omnibus survey. Decima Research questioned 1,024 randomly selected Canadian adults over 18 years old. With a sample size of 1,000, the survey data is accurate +/- 3.1%, 19 times out of 20.
About Vonage® Canada
Vonage Canada is redefining communications by offering consumers and small businesses an affordable alternative to traditional telephone service. The fastest growing telephony company in North America, Vonage’s service area encompasses more than 2000 active rate centers in more than 150 North American markets, including six Canadian provinces. Vonage is sold directly through www.vonage.ca, and at retail outlets such as RadioShack and Staples Business Depot. With more than 400,000 lines in service within North America, Vonage continues to add more than 30,000 lines per month to its network. More than 10 million calls per week are made using Vonage, the easy-to-use, feature-rich, flat rate phone service. Vonage Canada is headquartered in Mississauga, ON. For more information about Vonage’s products and services, please visit www.vonage.ca or call 1-877-272-0528. Vonage Canada is a trademark of Vonage Holdings Corp.
This article comes from Vonage VoIP Forum
The URL for this story is:
http://www.vonage-forum.com/article2153.html
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